Parallel Paradise by Mayapee Chowdhury

Author:Mayapee Chowdhury [Chowdhury, Mayapee]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Published: 2022-08-01T22:11:59+00:00

Chapter Nine

I spend the next few days avoiding Mum, who keeps the papers with photos of me and Rimli dressed up and out clubbing on the table, as though to remind me I’m still in the bad books. And I’m fielding Rimli’s calls. She keeps messaging me saying she can’t wait to see me. Obviously, she was just waiting until I was back in the UK to bombard me with messages. It looks like she is arriving after all, and I don’t know how I feel about it. We’re so different, and I’m far from being ready for the chaos she could bring to my life. The timing works well for me as I’m busy with gigs for the next few days and then I’m off to Paris.

I’ve started gaining some perspective about what happened between us and I’m thinking of it as a spontaneous fling and nothing more. If having an affair is good enough for Dhona, why shouldn’t Rimli have fun too? I’m glad I could oblige while I was there, but that’s how I need to look at it. I was there for Rimli when she needed me, and now, I must take care of myself. I’ll never admit it, but we had fun while I was there, and she certainly made the trip more bearable. I’m still feeling off balance though. There was so much there that didn’t sit right with me, and I almost felt embarrassed by certain parts of my own heritage. I also met Kristi, who says she’s going to be in Paris for a fashion show that she’s the main makeup artist for. It is time to move on with life. As for my attraction to women I can’t deal with that right now. This tour is too big and has to be my priority. Of course, the attraction is there, Rimli highlighted it exceptionally well, and repeatedly, that one night we had together, but I’m not ready to tackle my sexuality and the whole coming out thing right now.

Any time I get ready for a gig I feel like I’m putting on my armour. I feel strong and ready to take on the world. My first gig is a smallish one, and it’s a good one to get back into the world where I’m most comfortable.

I feel free and get the positive interactions from the audience that feed my creativity. Deviating slightly from my set list, I decide to perform a song I wrote while I was in India.

I announce to the audience, “So, this next number is a song I wrote during my recent visit to India. What a trip that was.”

A heckler asks where that hot dress I was wearing is.

I laugh it off. “I learnt a lot about myself during that trip and if nothing else, some new material came out of it. I doubt my cousin will make an appearance during this performance. I’m getting sick of him upstaging me.”

The audience laughs and applauds me. It’s better to face these things head-on than stay silent and let them fester like wounds.

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